Current:Home > ContactTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -GlobalInvest
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-24 14:06:45
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (399)
Related
- Moving abroad can be expensive: These 5 countries will 'pay' you to move there
- Officials announce two new carbon removal sites in northwest Louisiana
- Four minor earthquakes registered in California Monday morning, including 1 in Los Angeles
- Catastrophic flooding in Minnesota leaves entire communities under feet of water as lakes reach uncontrollable levels
- Rams vs. 49ers highlights: LA wins rainy defensive struggle in key divisional game
- Former student heads to prison for life for killing University of Arizona professor
- Cleveland Cavaliers hire Kenny Atkinson as new head coach
- Plot of Freaky Friday Sequel Starring Lindsay Lohan Finally Revealed
- John Galliano out at Maison Margiela, capping year of fashion designer musical chairs
- Perkins is overhauling its 300 restaurants. Here's the new look and menu.
Ranking
- DoorDash steps up driver ID checks after traffic safety complaints
- Some homeowners left waiting in limbo as several states work out anti-squatting stances
- This week’s televised debate is crucial for Biden and Trump — and for CNN as well
- Don’t understand your 401(k)? You’re not alone, survey shows.
- Angelina Jolie nearly fainted making Maria Callas movie: 'My body wasn’t strong enough'
- Gun violence an 'urgent' public health crisis. Surgeon General wants warnings on guns
- Oklahoma Supreme Court rules publicly funded religious charter school is unconstitutional
- Lily Allen Shares She Sometimes Turns Down David Harbour's Requests in Bed
Recommendation
Elon Musk's skyrocketing net worth: He's the first person with over $400 billion
Video captures shocking moment when worker comes face-to-face with black bear at Tennessee park
Iran overturns the death sentence of rapper Toomaj Salehi, charged in connection to 2022 protests
Iowa receiver Kaleb Brown arrested for operating a vehicle under the influence, fake license
Newly elected West Virginia lawmaker arrested and accused of making terroristic threats
South Carolina runoff pits Trump candidate against GOP governor’s endorsement
Rapper Julio Foolio Dead at 26 After Shooting at His Birthday Celebration
Diane von Furstenberg on documentary, 'biggest gift' from mom, an Auschwitz survivor